


Worst Case Scenario

by EternallyEcho



Category: Watership Down - Richard Adams
Genre: Courting Rituals, Crack Relationships, Gay Panic, Gay Rabbits, Light-Hearted, M/M, Out of Character, Rare Pairings, Silly, Some Fluff, Some Humor, lack thereof, or rather
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:33:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28250205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternallyEcho/pseuds/EternallyEcho
Summary: No one mentioned that dating the Chief Rabbit's younger brother would be such a big issue, until they all decided to stick their noses in and bring up everything that could possibly go wrong.
Relationships: Bigwig/Fiver (Watership Down)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Worst Case Scenario

**Author's Note:**

> Well, hello again, Watership archive! This time, we're going to try a story with a few chapters.
> 
> Here are some notes to set the stage before reading:
> 
> \- Slash-Crack: This will be a story that features a romantic relationship between two male characters (bucks), aka it's gay. They also have limited chemistry from the source material, so it's an exaggerated idea.
> 
> \- Canon Is More Like Guidelines AU: Since this writer has only read part of the book, you probably shouldn't expect much on that front. In fact, with this particular story, canon from any of the series media this time is relatively small in doses, if used much at all. Why? Simply to allow a little more freedom and shenanigans to go on.
> 
> \- Story in a Story Stuff: The chapters following the first one will have each of the characters telling their takes on events that they believe will play out. So, it'll go into strange directions and provide more for the characters to do than what they'll actually be doing.
> 
> \- Silly OoC Goodness: Characters in the story that follows will have rather exaggerated personalities from how they're normally depicted as well, so that way the story can be more light-hearted and allows for variant personality depictions. They're going to be weirder for fun, ok?
> 
> Hopefully that covers everything to be checked over. If you're interested, please feel free to read on, and enjoy!

Atop Watership Down under the partly cloudy morning, a bulky rabbit with a dark tuft of fur on his head sat a short distance from the beach tree. A gentle gust of wind blew past as his ears twitched, and he watched the holes nearest to the tree. Forcing his attention away for a moment, he gazed further down the hill, watching a small group of his fellow rabbits silflay or play with one another. A smirk formed on his face, but he shook his head and returned his attention to the holes.

A twig snap stole his attention and he twisted around, shooting a sharp glare at another rabbit that came by. His expression softened as the pale silver rabbit lifted himself upright.

"Are you alright, Bigwig?" The older rabbit tilted his head as Bigwig slowly exhaled. His voice was steady, but there was an underlying sternness about it. "Didn't think of you as a jumpy type."

"Fine, I'm fine, Holly," insisted Bigwig. "Just wasn't expecting the noise. Or you."

"What, are you waiting for someone else then?"

"Huh?"

"Well, I was planning on giving some Owsla lessons to a few newcomers," revealed Holly. "They could use tactics and survival training. But I figured you might want to join in."

"Oh. Uh. Maybe later…?"

"Later? Maybe?" Holly's eyes widened as his ears lifted. "Who are you, and what have you done with Bigwig?"

"Look, I'm just…not prepared for that today," decided Bigwig. He glanced behind him again, watching the area around the tree. "Find Silver or Buckthorn, and one of them can help you out."

Holly's mouth dropped open as he stared at Bigwig, who rolled his eyes at his companion. After a minute, Holly hopped closer to Bigwig, and reached for his head.

"Holly, what are you doing?"

"You have to be ill."

"I told you that I'm fine."

"Then you can't be Bigwig." Holly shook his head. "Bigwig, the pride of the Watership Owsla—"

"We're all Owsla here."

"Bigwig, refusing to help his former captain and train other rabbits," carried on Holly. "Did you not get enough sleep? Did you not eat yet? What's the matter?"

"Nothing!" Bigwig huffed as he whirled around to face Holly. "Look, I'm just…!"

"…Yes?"

"Don't worry about it."

Watching as Bigwig's eyes hastily checked the holes again, Holly slowly grinned. Bigwig's face burned as the older rabbit slid in front of him and his view.

"Ah, I think I've figured it out."

"Did you now?"

"You're waiting for a certain someone, aren't you?"

"Congratulations, you're right," confirmed Bigwig, trying to look past Holly. "Can you take off now?"

"No, I want to see the poor doe that decided to put up with you!"

"Poor?" Bigwig glowered at Holly. "Why poor? I'm a good buck for anyone!"

"Gruff and grumpy Bigwig, somehow a right fit for some unlucky soul," teased Holly.

"Go jump in a pile of hraka."

"I don't think you'd like me jumping on you much."

"Would you like that demonstration to be on you after all?" Bigwig crouched down and reared back. "Because I'm about one more insult from starting a lesson here and now."

"At least that's gaining your attention," mocked Holly. "In all my years, I wouldn't have expected a lovesick Bigwig to be so thrown off and too flustered to train up and coming Owsla trainees."

"Calm down, mate, I'm not flustered or…lovesick," snapped Bigwig, mumbling the last part.

"Quite the contrary, to what your body movements are dictating," interrupted a matter-of-fact sounding voice.

With a deep inhale as he glanced up, Bigwig squeezed his eyes shut. Slowly exhaling as he pried his eyes open, he glared at the sight of a dark furred rabbit that stood beside the smirking Holly. Though shorter than the other two, this rabbit liked to have his head held a bit higher. Dragging his paw across his face, Bigwig slumped as he stared ahead.

"Well, you've got a whole ramble saved up, Blackberry," spat Bigwig. "Might as well let it out, then."

"Oh yes, of course." Blackberry smiled as his eyes lowered. "Just waiting for you to give in and be ready for it."

Pulling back on his rear leg, Bigwig locked his attention on Blackberry, only for Holly to lean in the way. He shook his head as Bigwig broke his stance and gripped his head.

"Should be sufficient," determined Blackberry. "Very well. Bigwig, your body language certainly suggests traits of the more romantically inclined, a type of pining, if you will."

"How?"

"Bristled fur, twitchy nose and ears, among the other slight fidgeting of your body, your eyes appear a bit dilated now that I'm closer to tell, red face, a bit of sweat—"

"Couldn't that be symptoms of sickness too?" Bigwig snorted as he twisted away. "Holly could've been right about that."

"Possibly, but you repeatedly insisted to Holly that you were fine," pointed out Blackberry. "Plus, your behaviors contribute to the signs as well."

"My what?"

"Constantly checking back at the holes to see who crawls out of the honeycomb, checking to see where the other rabbits are, and defensive traits to another rabbit's approach," listed Blackberry. "Oh, and you've eyed a few weeds that I'm guessing you mistook as flowers."

"Hold on, _none_ of that has romantic intent," contested Bigwig.

"True, it does sound like monitoring the warren, which is what I assumed you were doing with my first observation," reasoned Blackberry.

"First?" Bigwig wildly shook his head. "How long have you been watching me?"

"Long enough to understand that you're definitely waiting on someone, and overhearing Holly's banter with you, that essentially confirms it," determined Blackberry. "After all, from the other days that I've watched you, well, you're usually busying yourself with anything else, only scanning the surroundings for a short moment of time."

"Other days?"

"Of course; I do that with everyone to properly learn their behaviors," nonchalantly responded Blackberry. Holly winced while Bigwig's mouth hung open in horror. "…It is perfectly normal to have someone keep astute surveillance on our fellow rabbits."

"To make sure they're ok, sure," debated Holly. "But, I'm in accord with Bigwig's appalled expression there, because that does sound…disturbing."

"Hazel appreciates it," muttered Blackberry, as he folded his arms. "Helps him learn about everyone better."

"Think we need to have a long talk with Hazel then!" Bigwig stomped at the ground. "There's no excuse for that!"

"Calm down, they're just idle observations when I have free time to spend," explicated Blackberry. "Though, I'm currently intrigued by where Bigwig's free time is going today, considering the spat you two were in."

"That was nothing."

"To be fair," reasoned Holly, "you were very tense."

"Why the blazes would that matter?" Bigwig threw his arms up. "Why does _any_ of this matter?"

"Curiosity, naturally." Blackberry smirked. "It wouldn't be a problem if you weren't so guarded about everything."

"He's right with that too," admitted Holly.

"Rubbish!"

"Attraction and romantic entanglements are nothing new to Watership Down," pointed out Blackberry. "If you fancy someone, there's no need to keep it a secret."

"What would it matter if it's a secret or not?"

"Ooh, a secret?" A voice boomed from overhead, and Bigwig dragged his paws down his cheeks. "Kehaar loves secrets!"

Descending from above, a black-headed seagull landed near the rabbit trio. He waved his white wings out as feathers scattered, and stretched a bit before folding them behind his back. His beak curved up as he looked between the bucks, and winked to them.

"Don't be holding back! Kehaar will be keeping the secrets!"

"Can't we talk about your flight and faraway journeys instead?" Bigwig tugged at his ears. "Those are far more enjoyable to hear."

"Many stories already being told, especially to Mister Bigwig," reminded Kehaar. "It is Bigwig's turn to be telling Kehaar a good story!"

"Frith above, why?"

"Because Bigwig is Kehaar's good friend! And…kah, yark, um, in Lapine…ah!" Kehaar waved his wing out. "Kehaar be wanting to share in experiencing…no, but in experiences! Yes!"

"He's gotten pretty good at our language," noted Holly. "Well done, Kehaar!"

"Room for improvement, but much better than when we first met," relented Blackberry.

"Kehaha! Thank you, friends!"

"Kaaah…" Bigwig seethed as he clawed the grass.

"Aw, don't be mad, Mister Bigwig!" Kehaar waddled over to him and tilted his head. "Kehaar will be keeping any secret of yours!"

"Problem is that he's being rather shy over it, Kehaar," chimed in Holly. "Bigwig seems embarrassed about sharing."

"I am not!"

"Prove it." Holly raised an eyebrow. "Tell us about who you're waiting for."

"Certainly not who you're expecting."

"Haven't any idea who to expect to begin with. So, out with it!"

"There isn't much else to delay over," piped up Blackberry.

"Yes, tell Kehaar too!"

"My goodness, just what is all of this fuss about?"

Everyone turned back as a small brown rabbit made his way from the holes near the tree and over to the group. Bigwig lightly exhaled and he smiled to him, letting his ears lift with the next breeze. Kehaar beamed to his appearance, while Blackberry shifted his gaze between him and Bigwig.

"Good morning, Fiver." Holly hopped between him and Bigwig. "We're trying to figure out who Bigwig is waiting on this morning."

"Is that what the whole commotion is about?" Fiver tilted his head as he lowered one ear and raised another. Though he had a gentle tone, his questioning might suggest otherwise. "Why are you lot so bothered over that?"

"Well, Bigwig hasn't told us about it," accused Holly. "So, that only riled us up to pester him over it."

"That…sounds terribly invasive," pointed out Fiver.

"Just curious," insisted Holly. He paused and glanced to the ground. "…Ok, maybe we did get a bit out of control." Shaking his head, he returned his attention to Fiver. "But, wouldn't you be curious too?"

"Likely so, yes, but I'd probably internalize it and drive myself mad with scenarios rather than bothering Bigwig about any of it." Fiver smirked at Bigwig's sharp laugh.

"Accurate," murmured Blackberry, watching as Bigwig scooted over to Fiver.

"Look, I've only been waiting on Fiver this morning," revealed Bigwig. "We're just going to the brook past the woods for a bit." He shifted his weight around, closer to Fiver, who smiled up to him. "He's had it in his head since Ni-Frith yesterday, so I promised I'd go with him around that time today."

"Wait, you were just…your mystery rabbit was only Fiver?" When Bigwig nodded, Holly deflated as his ears lowered. "Oh, I do believe I've been quite the fool indeed. I'm sorry, Bigwig. This feels like a mistake a younger and sillier buck should have made, not me."

"Big secret was only that our big plump rabbit was waiting for his cute small rabbit." Kehaar lifted a wing as he chuckled. "Just a strolling, nothing special."

"Right, that's all." Fiver shrugged. "I hadn't expected anyone to be bothering him over it."

"Now we're going to be late like you predicted though," realized Bigwig. He nuzzled Fiver's cheek as they chuckled. "Makes sense that you weren't in a hurry."

"…Holly wasn't entirely wrong, was he?"

Everyone blinked as they directed their attention to Blackberry. He narrowed his gaze on Bigwig and Fiver, as the latter shot an inquisitive look to the former. Bigwig groaned and rolled his eyes up, while Holly hopped over to Blackberry, ears upright again.

"How do you mean?"

"Allow me to assess." Blackberry cleared his throat.

"Do we really need a grand explanation?" Bigwig dropped his arms as he hunched over. "Can't you just make your point?"

"Arriving to it through accurate assessment makes it all the more rewarding."

"Deep breaths," whispered Fiver as he gently guided Bigwig's tightened fist back down.

"To Captain Holly's credit, he did put it together properly." Blackberry lifted his paw to his mouth and tapped at his chin. "I wouldn't have understood it without his analysis, after all."

"Honestly, I was just having a go at Bigwig for fun."

"Nevertheless, you did reach the conclusion that Bigwig had a more romantic investment in his coming interaction." He took a step closer to the pair, as Fiver sank down while Bigwig stood in front of him. "Each of Bigwig's displayed actions and body language from before suggested that was the correct understanding of his behavior." Blackberry wrinkled his nose and wiggled it a bit. "Furthermore, he never denied such intent in spite of our accusations, and consistently tried to hide it." His ears perked up as he stared at the two rabbits. "However, the more telling and curious traits come from here and now."

"Smart rabbit talks a lot," mumbled Kehaar, to which Holly nodded.

"I like to make my points clear and proven," reasoned Blackberry.

"Mister Blackberry doesn't need to—"

"He really doesn't," snapped Bigwig.

"Ah, but, I insist!" Blackberry pointed at Bigwig and Fiver. "Notice the quick pacing of how they got together?" He glanced to Holly and Kehaar, who both shrugged. "Oh, it was very quick, honestly." When neither seemed to react, Blackberry sighed. "No matter. Bigwig's behaviors from earlier were quite tense and uptight. Holly, I'm sure you'd agree."

"Well, yes, but—"

"If you were to have observed him as I had just a moment ago," carried on Blackberry, "you'd notice that he became far more relaxed. Steady ears, eased posture, slightly lowered eyes, and notably smiling between some laughter. This change only occurred upon Fiver's arrival, and almost instantly upon his appearance." Spiraling back around, he pointed to the pair once again, who whispered to one another. "Now, the two are quite close, as you can see. Bigwig currently took on a defensive stance before Fiver, exhibiting extra protective behavior that he normally doesn't display outside of combat. Furthermore, they're quite close together, as though guided to one another. Coupled with the whispering, paws touching, gentle nuzzles, and generally positive behaviors exchanged mutually in a rather short span of time, one could easily find—"

"Fiver and I are dating," dully concluded Bigwig.

Kehaar's beak dropped open while Holly clasped his paws over his mouth.

"Oh, did you really?" Blackberry threw his arms up. "You spoiled _my_ arrival to that very conclusion!"

"Bigwig thinks you've gotten the wrong idea that he was trying to keep our relationship a secret when he was really just trying to avoid unnecessary attention," divulged Fiver. "And…I agreed, since you're carrying on dramatically."

"Dramatically? Me?" Blackberry huffed. "Fiver, I thought you were far more respectful than that!"

"While I do find you very intelligent, Blackberry, this isn't quite that big of a deal." Fiver shivered for a moment, then blinked and sighed. "It's about to get worse."

"Please no," faintly begged Bigwig.

"Congratulations!" Kehaar waved his wings up, but Holly pulled them back down.

"You're dating Fiver?" Holly twisted around and eyed Bigwig, who jerked back.

"Uh…yeah."

"Are you _positively mad_?" Holly gripped his head and then tugged down on his ears. "Bigwig, you're dating your _Chief Rabbit's_ younger brother! His _only_ brother!"

"So?" Bigwig folded his arms. "If any of you have a problem with that, I've got a sharp kick saved up for any one of your faces."

"Take it easy, Bigwig." Fiver rested his paws on Bigwig's shoulder. "No need for that."

"That's a very big problem!"

"Really, Holly, I didn't expect you to have that dated mentality toward it," chastised Fiver.

"What? No, you're looking about it all wrong!" Holly released his ears as they flew back up. "Bucks don't just date a member of the chief's family! You have to ask for permission for that kind of a courtship, and appeal to him first!" He shook his head and paced back and forth. "Oh, this is bad, very bad…Hazel should and will be furious…"

"Come now, Hazel?" Bigwig forced out a laugh. "He's my best mate! I'm sure he'll be fine with Fiver and I."

"Something tells me that I shouldn't explain the extent of Hazel's thoughts on you," decided Blackberry.

"…Does he still have sour opinions on me?" Bigwig's ears fell. "After all we've been through by now, I just…I just figured…"

"Technically, Holly is right, to add to that," piled on Blackberry.

"It's so very improper…"

"Enough, this is all stuff and nonsense," argued Fiver. "Bigwig is right, Hazel is very close friends with him, and he respects me enough to let me choose who I'd date." Fiver scratched behind his head. "…Come to think of it, I haven't talked about that with him in a while."

"He has absolutely _no clue at all_?"

"Holly, you're being very dramatic."

"How can I not be?" Holly threw his arms up. "Were none of you around for the foulest fit that the Threarah had over Silver dating? And that was only his nephew!"

"Huh." Bigwig leaned back and gazed skyward. "Now that you mention it, I think Silver did complain about that a few times outside of Owsla practices."

"Was it really that bad?" Fiver raised an eyebrow to Bigwig.

"Sounds very, very bad!" Kehaar flapped his wings. "Kehaar never sees Hazel so angry!"

"Ha, I've gotten him there before." Fiver blinked as the others paled staring at him. "Uh. Not that it's happened in…well, it's been a little while, I think."

"Not helping…"

"Sorry, love."

"This could be rather serious indeed," assessed Blackberry. "Perhaps we should take a minute to think it over, and gauge how best to anticipate Hazel's reactions."

"Oh, come now, Hazel won't be that bad, I'm sure," persisted Fiver.

"Still, a rabbit should always be prepared for all sorts of unfortunate events," suggested Holly. "Especially our warren, considering our collective history."

"Never fear! I shall devise a perfect scenario that best explores Hazel's reaction and how everything will play out for Bigwig," determined Blackberry. "From there, we can best determine what he and Fiver should do."

"What, you?" Holly shook his head. "I'm more likely to get this sorted. I've experienced the sort of madness most likely to unfold."

"Oh, oh! Let Kehaar try!" Bouncing a bit, Kehaar flapped his wings. "Kehaar loves to tell stories!"

"Wait, just what do you all have in mind?" Bigwig sank down and hugged himself together. "Not, uh, not that I'm nervous…or…anything…"

"This is going to be a very long day after all," realized Fiver, wrapping himself around Bigwig, taking his paws, and gently patting them. "Don't worry. Whatever silly stories they come up with, I'm certain none of them will play out."

"Did you have a vision about any of this?"

"Surprisingly no."

"Then how can you be sure?"

"He's my brother, Bigwig," reminded Fiver. "I know him better than everyone." He blinked and stared off. "Save for maybe Hyzenthlay. And perhaps Blackberry knows a few odd details that I don't. Even you might know a bit that Hazel disclosed to you over me." Fiver pressed a paw to his cheek. "…How much doesn't Hazel tell me…?"

Groaning, Bigwig slumped to the ground, while Fiver plopped down beside him, doing his best to comfort him. They watched as Holly scratched his head, Kehaar cleared his throat while spreading his wings, and Blackberry's paw swayed back and forth as though writing in the sky.

One correct prediction was that it was indeed going to be a long day.

**Author's Note:**

> Poor Bigwig just wanted a nice day with his new partner.
> 
> Some spoilers below, in case you're behind on any canon and I happen to mention it.
> 
> Now, this story somewhat follows another that I had written up before, but only that Bigwig and Fiver started dating. Nothing else major from that, although you might have recalled small details that contribute here too. Either way, not necessary to read it, but if you did, bonus points. However, if you do want to know why I'm writing Fiver and Bigwig as a couple, that story provides the support for it.
> 
> Why the departure from canon so much? Honestly, though I've only read part of the book, it's not going to provide an abundance of development for the characters past their main story development. Most spotlight is directed towards Hazel in most adaptations, since he is the main character.
> 
> So, this story lets them have fun and live a different part of their lives instead of struggling to survive.
> 
> ...
> 
> Some Character Notes:
> 
> Bigwig retains most of his usual demeanor, except his temper is slightly more in-check. Blame/Thank Fiver. He's a big softy here, but doesn't like everyone to know that.
> 
> Fiver should pretty much be like his usual self, except with some more confidence and humor, playful and not totally overwhelmed by his visions. Regardless, he's still the nice and gentle rabbit of the group.
> 
> Holly is still the senior compared to the others, though not quite dramatically. He's somewhat serious, but he's not above goofing around too. I wanted him to have a closer relationship with Bigwig here, because I found it strange that they were both in the Owsla and yet never really clicked much in any interpretation of the series. I think they were closest to one another in the books, but that never translated over, which is odd since I feel like they'd have camaraderie from their work together, especially when Bigwig's other friends (Silver, Buckthorn) are absent.
> 
> Blackberry is the biggest canon deviation, because I veered far off with the "smartest rabbit" angle for him. I thought he'd be more entertaining that way, and previously had Bigwig mention his ire from listening to Blackberry's lectures, so, I went with that. His depictions are less consistent overall. Anyway, he's a type that not only is smart, but knows it, so he has more fun than he should with it. He likes being needed by Hazel, and touts that too. Perhaps too arrogant, but I figured it went well with the interpretation, and it gives a fun variation on his usual characterization. He'll play nice by Hazel's needs, but with the others, he'll do more as he pleases.
> 
> Kehaar is basically the silly gull from the tv series here, since I liked that best for him. He's a lot more serious in the book and the miniseries, so I went with the cuter version. Following the book though, I wanted him to have a good relationship with Bigwig, since they're meant to be friends. Almost every other version of the story portrays Bigwig getting annoyed with Kehaar, and I was surprised how captivated he was with him in the source material. So, they're on much nicer terms here, though Bigwig gets a little distraught adding in Kehaar on top of the others bugging him.
> 
> For this version, I kind of gave Kehaar a different voice to speak in, just simple broken English and referring to himself mostly in third person, since he technically should have his own language and picks up on the Lapine that the rabbits speak. (I don't think any of them outright call it that, but I decided to have them do so for simplicity's sake here.) I was uneasy with how his voice reads in the book, since I wasn't sure if it was a dated stereotype. So, I tried making it something that hopefully wouldn't be offensive, and even included a hint of Bigwig picking up his seagull language too. (When he goes "Kaaah" to express ire and Kehaar responds with sympathy to help calm him down.)
> 
> ...
> 
> So, the rest of the story will have the rabbits take turns advising how Bigwig will handle Hazel's potential reaction to him dating his little brother. However, they're all going to come up with wildly outlandish scenarios, basically making AUs for this story itself. And slowly scaring Bigwig with bad takes on Hazel, while giving Fiver something to roll his eyes over...several times.
> 
> But, that comes later, now that we've established how they interact with one another. Hopefully it's entertaining and fun! All the same though, thank you for reading.


End file.
